Again and again, this world has told us that we are not enough, that we are not good looking or intelligent or talented enough. Somewhere along the line, we bought into those lies, and we pay for it every day. Today, we should try to sell a different story—to the girls who think they’re not perfect enough, to the guys who only want perfection, and yes, even to ourselves.
These words come from a close friend of mine. He’s speaking about society’s detrimental obsession with physical flawlessness. Perfection, perfection, perfection. Or so the story goes.
The lens of perception change drastically based on physical appearance. It’s true, and it’s not necessarily something that warrants guilt. The mind works faster than we can detect. Before the realization strikes of what you’ve done, your brain has compiled a database of information based on the snap judgment you’ve made in two seconds of observation.
Thus, it’s almost fitting that we stroke our egos to the point of obsession when it comes to our corporal forms. Or maybe it’s not even ego, but the extreme lack of it. People are so afraid that they will go through great lengths to deceive the eye on physical evidence, rather than the more vital aspects of interior condition.
The world has not been too accommodating in stalling this corrosive state of mind – in fact, it’s urging it on. Turn on the TV, flip through the channels, and within minutes your retinas will be showered in the neon glow of several gorgeous (and often times scantily clad) women, thrusting themselves whichever way they need in order to manipulate your emotions into buying whatever they’re selling. With metric tons of makeup, acute photoshop skills, and perfect lighting adjustments, anybody can take their place in the ensemble of perfectly primped models waiting to grab your attention. Sex is the CEO of corporate American advertising, and she’s not likely to abdicate her throne any time soon.
But the issue lies deeper than economical policies. People are always trying to sell something with their appearance – whether it’s a nice shampoo or the image of self-confidence, the way people present themselves is a statement about who they are and how they think. The biker man with chains around his belt and teardrop tattoos? He’s probably not aspiring to be a world class ballet dancer. And the preppy kid with turtleneck sweaters and classy wristwatches likely won’t sing for the next AC/DC. How people dress and look is an introductory statement about themselves. “Hi, I’m Brennan, and this is or isn’t what I am…”
People with even the most basic of social skills know the importance of a good first impression. So many people – particular those of the fairer sex – have gone the extra mile or ten to enhance their first impressions. The problem is, the issue has been taken overboard.
Image has become an obsession in American culture. Trends and fads come and go, but the overall objective, to look and feel perfect, is here to stay. The reasons are fairly simple. One of them is that looking good simply feels good. And who wouldn’t want to feel good?
While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful, the trappings of physical obsessions have perpetrated a pitfall. There’s a competition factor involved, and it’s not possible to opt out of it. To look good, people feel like they have to compete – and this especially applies for women. The world is constantly bombarding them with the message that to feel hip, stylish, and beautiful, you have to be hip, stylish and beautiful. And apparently, these things can only be acquired with a size 0 waistline, a nosejob, and some trendy clothing
Sure, you can try not to compete if you want. But unless you maintain absolute security in yourself, it’s easy for feelings of inadequacy, judgment, and comparison to creep in. It’s hard enough to feel comfortable in our own skin. Throw in the crushing weight of the world’s rebuttals, and it’s difficult to not take it with some strain.
And so people change. They take who they are and put on a disguise and an act in order to feel like they belong. The radiance they naturally exude is refracted through their disguise. Maybe the refraction doesn’t seem that bad to those on the outside, but the person on the inside is still hurt because they know, deep down inside, that this isn’t really them. They aren’t getting the attention they so desperately seek. It’s the disguise. The act. The tight shirt they wear. Or the persona they put on. Inside, they’re still being tormented because they still don’t fit in. It’s only the act that gets them through.
Humanity is prone to the torrid emotions of pride, insecurity, lust, and rejection. The proper image can build up stone walls that hide these demons from others, but it will never truly dispel them. If we pretend we feel good, maybe, just maybe that will push the demons away for just a bit longer. I don’t see any end in sight for this kind of strategy. I think there’s a clear middle ground. There’s no shame in the enhancement of attractiveness. (Trust me. The guys don’t mind.) But it becomes an unhealthy endeavor if focused on too much; instead of letting oneself sculpt his/her own looks, the way one allows themselves to look sculpts them. It all goes back to two things: the feel-good industry, with their focus on self-building, and the wanting to fit in and escape from insecurity. Image should be an enhancer. But instead of judging in conjunction, we judge directly on it. And that’s not how it needs to be.
Instead of covering up whatever demons you have, or drowning yourself in a caricature that tries to look good, try spilling some light on these things instead. Acquire the courage to feel comfortable with yourself, no matter how you look. There’s no sin in looking beautiful. There’s no shame in being attractive. And there’s certainly no wrong in searching for splendor. But in the pursuit of these things, it can be easy task to lose ourselves in them.
And as always, remember that outside appearances do little to reflect what’s on the inside, where true beauty lies.
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